Pulling out a gun at a snowball fight?

A big story in the news lately is the cop who pulled out a gun during a snowball fight. The details aren't important, what is important is that people are outraged about this. People have this idea that a snowball fight is something wholesome and that introducing a gun to one is like bringing a rocket launcher to a daycare center. Let's dissect a snowball fight for a moment. It's essentially throwing rocky ice spheres at others as hard as you can. When you're a kid, it's all fun and games, but once you reach an age where your peers can throw at speeds up to around 80 miles an hour and they pack the snowballs tight in order to cause as much pain as possible, it ceases to be a game and becomes an actual fight.

And what happens when a cop draws a gun at a normal run-of-the-mill fistfight? Is that a big deal? That's probably happening eighteen hundred times right this very second all across the world. No one gives a shit about that, but introduce the element of snow and all of a sudden the BBC has to get involved.

Where do you draw the line? Bringing a gun to a snowball fight might seem like overkill to some, but maybe that's just someone who really wants to win. What if someone had brought a snowball cannon that launches chunks of jagged ice at the speed of bullets? Would that be in the news? Probably, since many people would be injured and dead, but no one considers that. How would anyone react? What if someone has a bionic superstrong arm that's made of futuristic artificial tendons and allows them to hurl snowballs ten times faster than Randy Johnson? Should that person then be excluded from any and all snowball fights? Should they be arrested if one were to arise and they got involved? In that case, yes. Why? Because snowball fights aren't a joke! Case closed. So bring all you can to your next snowball fight, chains, bats, guns, knives, bazookas, don't be limited by the notion that it's "fun & games". Never be afraid to win!

-Binkie McFartnuggets