Mummies get health insurance?!

The news is always hiding stories that might spark outrage against the system, but this one slipped through the cracks. The Lady Hor mummy was discovered to be a man! Does that shock you? Well maybe the fact that this discovery came by way of CT scan should! Yeah, that's right. Mummies get medical testing that is not afforded to some living humans in America, sad isn't it? We need to have our voices heard and let these mummies know that we're more important than them and they have all eternity to have scans and probes done, we only have our lifetimes!

-Binkie McFartnuggets