Monster Energy Drink Kills People

Uncle Jeff (Monster)

Yes Monster Energy Drink kills people. Red Bull kills people. Coffee can kill people. Caffeine is a drug. News of Monster killing people should only boost sales by showing they have a superior, stronger product. If I'm purchasing a drug I'd rather have the one that's killed a bunch of people over the one that hasn't. They could call it Murderer Energy Drink and people would still buy it. It's not called Fluffy Kitten Energy Drink. If Fluffy Kitten was killing people then I'd be worried, but it's called Monster. Killing people is what monsters do.

If you need energy then it's because you naturally don't have what it takes to deal with life so if you need to risk it for a boost then that's totally worth it. Also if you're a child you probably shouldn't be hanging around monsters whether it's a beverage or "Uncle Jeff".