Watching Television Kills Sperm

Everyone's talking about the British Journal of Sports Medicine study that concluded that men who watch more than 20 hours of TV and never exercise have lower sperm counts. The study consisted of 189 men, so you know whatever they found is going to be reflective of every man on Earth.

Clearly, the reason they came up with this result is because it's hard to watch TV these days without masturbating every other minute so the men who claimed to watch a lot of TV had basically nothing left in their balls. If you're living a TV-free lifestyle, odds are you're not masturbating that much while you're out in a field reading "The Secret Garden" or whatever it is that people who don't watch TV do.

 I don't see why this is news, are they trying to scare people? If you're a huge fan of television then you would want a lower sperm count because then it makes trying to impregnate a woman more like a reality show. I'd rather see ten sperms try to get into an egg than witness a boring ass marathon of millions. Basically all this study is telling you is if you watch crap loads of TV and never exercise, in addition to wearing tightass underpants while having a laptop on your balls, you will never need condoms or morning after pills ever again.