Story from the AP:Physicians in Peru admit they have removed one and a half pounds of nails, coins, keychains, rings, thumbtacks, paperclips, copper wire, and scrap metal from a man's stomach.
Local surgeon Carlos Delgado was shocked. "We went in thinking it could be appendicitis, but weren't we surprised by what we found, a hole in his stomach? Weren't you? Yes we weren't, by a lot!, but you too?" Delgado said through an interpreter who appeared intoxicated.
Requelme Abanto, a 26-year-old construction worker has amassed quite a following of people who will come to watch him swallow metal, amongst other things.
"They call me the hardware store, because I'm fucking nuts, and people bolt whenever they see me wrenching metal with my hammer-like teeth because they know the drill, I wood screw them," Requelme Abanto said from his hospital bed in northern Peru before convulsing and slipping into a coma.
"I swallowed 17 nails in February and didn't die!" he said when he came to. "You hear that ladies? Five-inch nails! All in one day! It takes the average psycho at least three weeks to do the same and I did it before the sun set!"
*Note: This story is true, but some of the quotes were changed to protect the innocent.
-Binkie McFartnuggets
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