All anyone could think about when this story broke was, "Ohhhh loogadda tooukie!" Meanwhile others like me were pondering much more philosophical ideas. Why bend over backwards to save a wild turkey while you willingly slaughter millions just like it without batting an eyelash? Bureaucracy? Anyways, grow up, kid. It's a damn turkey! The same kind your mama and dada carve up with a mechanical knife! Gobble gobble gobble!
-Binkie McFartnuggets
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