Music is like a drug and songs are like hits of a drug. Some hits enhance experiences, others ruin them completely. Here are ten of the worst songs to have sex to of all time. If any of these are on your “Romance” mix CD, do yourself a favor and remove them immediately or risk permanent emotional scarring.
10. James Baskett - “Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah”
A classic song and a catchy tune, but it just doesn’t fit the mood of sexual relations. Plus, the odd racial overtones give it that added element of awkwardness.
9. Rick Astley - “Never Gonna Give You Up”
It WAS at one time the most romantic song ever written, but thanks to the trend of “Rick rolling” it’s hard to make love to this song seriously.
8. Beach Boys - “Problem Child”
This is not a widely known song, but it was the ending credits theme from the 1990 film “Problem Child”. It’s a fun song, but it’s totally ill fitting for lovemaking.
7. The Andy Kaufman Wrestling Entrance Theme
Normally I’d say this is a great song to have sex to, but it’s 25 seconds long and most women will tell you that just isn’t enough and you need to "go see a doctor or something".
6. Frank Sinatra - “My Way”
This song is great, but let’s face it, it’s better suited for funeral tributes and if there’s anything the police have told me it’s funerals and sex DO NOT mix
5. Tiny Tim - “Tiptoe Through The Tulips”
Most people consider this song to be a little creepy even when there isn’t a man in a human skin mask caressing their body. So when I put on my human skin mask, wow, talk about uncomfortable!
4. The Tetris Song
It’s a song most people enjoy and boning to this is a famous Russian tradition, but the main problem is it speeds up toward the end and if you try to keep pace you can suffer a heart attack. No bueno!
3. Dr. Seuss - “You’re A Mean One, Mr. Grinch”
Nothing takes a person out of a sexual mood like hearing a man sing ridiculous insults at a “Grinch” character. Just the imagery of a “dead tomato” and “moldy purple spots” really ruins the sexiness of any situation.
2. The Lion King - “I Just Can’t Wait To Be King”
The only saving grace to this song is the fact that it’s not actually Jonathan Taylor Thomas singing. Nonetheless, it won’t be long until you remember the scene where Mufasa dies and before you know it, you’re weeping like a little girl which really tends to frighten most women.
1. Vince Guaraldi - “The Charlie Brown Theme”
I don’t care if it’s Thanksgiving or Christmas, this is quite possibly the worst song to have sex to. Personally, I enjoy it, the rhythm is great, but I have been told countless times it’s creepy and it has ruined many relationships for me so that’s why the Charlie Brown Peanuts song is the number one worst song to have sex to of ALL-TIME!
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