5.19.2009

Scott Peterson + Lori Drew = Drew Peterson?

What happens when you take the last names of two alleged killers and combine them to make a super murderer? I don't know, because I don't really pay attention to this real crime drama stuff. But having a guy named Drew Peterson in the news is like having a guy named Wang Cho in the news, which I'm sure is constantly happening in Asia... I don't get this crime drama stuff. It's socially acceptable to watch and follow stories about people who allegedly committed heinous crimes, but people consider me weird when I want to milk a tarantula? I actually thought Drew Peterson was Scott Peterson for awhile, but then I saw his photo and wondered how someone could age so quickly.

Lori Drew was the housewife who convinced her daughter's former friend to commit suicide through MySpace in an act of "Cyber-Bullying." This is a delicate topic but I'm an expert on it after being subjected to a lot of so-called CB. I think that if you can be convinced to commit suicide over the internet or on the phone, even in person by a stranger, you were probably going to at least attempt it sometime down the line on your own terms. If you feel the need to question my views, remember this is coming from someone whose own mother once told him to "Slice your f*cking neck open with a razor blade!" But I didn't do it. Ya know why? Because I knew she was joking around. The key to survival in today's technological world is not taking anything seriously. Back in the 19th century people had senses of humor, but you never knew when you might catch the flu and die so you had to constantly be on edge. (My how far we have come!) Nowadays we're all in our own little bubbles linked together in a giant blob of sh!t known as the internet. When that's the case you can't take anything anyone says to mean a damn thing, unless it's positive, but even then they might just be trying to get you to post more naked pics of yourself.

-Binkie McFartnuggets

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