5.10.2009

Where Do Farts Go When You Hold Them In?


Everyone knows that feeling where you need to "make some noise for James Brown", but for whatever reason, you're at a business meeting or inside a cramped Volkswagon with three strangers and you can't let it rip. you clench your sphincter with all the skill you have and eventually you feel a strange, unpleasant sensation. It's the feeling of at least one bubble of air inside your lower intestines traveling upward and further inflating your innards. Now that'd be fine, but it comes back... with friends.

Now I've heard a lot of weird things when it comes to farting, most recently a solid five second long fart I experienced earlier today where I had to actually stop and pray that I hadn't shat myself before feeling to make sure, but this is damn peculiar, from Wikipedia:

Not all flatus is released from the body via the anus. When the partial pressure of any gas component of the intestinal lumen is higher than its partial pressure in the blood, that component enters into the bloodstream of the intestinal wall by the process of diffusion. As the blood passes through the lungs this gas can diffuse back out of the blood and be exhaled.

I never knew people could fart out of their mouths, but that makes a lot of sense when you think about some people. If you know someone who talks a lot of shit then odds are it's because there's a lot of fart diffusion occurring in their lungs to help propel it out of their mouthole.

Gas is a crazy part of life, but some people don't want to embrace it as a part of life at all. It's just as much a part of you as your blood or the water and liquor you drink. The sooner you learn to embrace it, the easier I can let one loose in the doctor's waiting room without having everyone stare at me, especially when there's more than 6 shots loaded. Then maybe I wouldn't be there for the doctor to check on my digestive issues caused by holding in farts in public to begin with!


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