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I would blame global warming and the recent El Nino effect that has also been affecting national weather, but that's what the media wants me to do. Then again the media wanted me to get scared about Swine Flu and that was pretty fun... Oh what the hell!
The world has not taken big enough steps to reduce carbon emissions and we are now paying the true price! Celebrities are our most precious resource, more important than oil, water, chocolate, and even babies. If we don't stop polluting the Earth, we might only be able to introduce our grandchildren to celebrities using old tattered magazines and worn out sex dolls with home printed photos taped over the heads.
-Binkie McFartnuggets
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