Which water is most unsafe: Tap or Bottled?

Now that people are tired of talking about Michael Jackson, the new topic is FEAR! An original new topic to say the least. Fear of bottled water is now the big issue. If you'll remember awhile back, the big fear was of tap water... But now we're being batted back to this side like a rubber ball, and I'm sure the media assumes our IQs warrant the comparison.

It turns out that tap water may not be just as good as bottled water, but better. Many bottled water companies don't indicate where their water comes from, but really, who can trust the ones who do? It's such an easy racket, fill bottles with water and sell them to paranoid joggers.

I'm sick of this debate and I don't take either side. I won't drink tap or bottled water. I still fear tap water because it constantly tastes like lead, though maybe that's a problem with my plumbing. An individual problem! My tap sucks so I need other water. I'm not everyone else, imagine that concept! Maybe we all have to do what's best for ourselves without being told what to do by the media...

Anyways, I don't drink tap or bottled water, I drink right out of the toilet. The water is pure, fresh, and cold as an iceberg, as long as no one has used the toilet directly before I take a drink... I suggest you try it some time.

-Binkie McFartnuggets