How do you have a chunk of plastic in your lung for two years and not know it?

By now we've all heard about the Duke doctor, Momen Wahidi, who removed a big chunk of Wendy's plastic from John Manley's lung. If you don't know who John Manley is, he's the guy who was eating at a Wendy's two years ago and drank his soda so fast he didn't notice a piece of plastic in the cup and inhaled the obstruction into his pulmonary system, where it laid for two years.

It's a good thing there weren't more people like John Manley around thousands of years ago, because if there were I could imagine there'd be an extra commandment created just for them: "Thou shalt not inhale what you intend to swallow." And that would be a big eyesore on that list. Eventually it would fall into the mini-list of commandments that we don't really take seriously like "Thou shalt not murder."

It's not often when a personal crisis can be averted by the use of a straw, but this was one of those times. I will admit, the story does seem a little curious, how can you go two years with a one inch chunk of plastic in your lung? I probably couldn't go five minutes! Maybe we should be worshiping this John Manley! (That false gods commandment is one of those I don't really pay much attention to either). I wouldn't be surprised if this was all a setup to give the Duke doctor some good publicity. Maybe what he does is implant old plastic into patients' lungs when they come in complaining of coughing. Then when he pulls it out, of course they're gonna feel better. I'm onto you Wahidi! Watch yo back!

-Binkie McFartnuggets