Will a longer school year make American kids smarter?

President Obama announced that he would like to make school days and years longer. He thinks this will help America catch up to other nations that have more expansive education. If we're being honest, the real problem is the way kids are being taught and not how long they're being taught. If you're baking shit pies, you don't make someone eat more hoping eventually they'll like them, you change the damn recipe. Interestingly, most Asian countries don't have longer school years than America and yet their students still outscore American students in testing. There's more to that than the "Asians are smart" stereotype, it's simply a different culture.

Of course the American educational system is flawed and inefficient, but even if it weren't, I doubt American students would rise to the occasion at the level that their Asian counterparts do. We live in a culture where sloth and excess are rewarded with more sloth and excess. As long as that's true, a large number of kids are going to squeak by in classes and focus on enjoying their lives now as opposed to 10 years down the line, which is actually what we're always telling people to do. That kind of mixed message is confusing even if you have a decent education.

The problem with American education is a far more deep rooted problem than how long or short the school years or days are. Of course most people are against the longer days, because they know it'll only make kids more bored and liable to do dangerous things to stay entertained, or tune out the education even more than they are now. But I do think that Obama is smarter than to think keeping kids in school longer with the same crappy system will help, at least I hope so. I hope there's more to this plan that I'm just too lazy to read about right now. Oh hey! Domino's is here! Sorry, I have to go put on my Snuggie.

-Binkie McFartnuggets