Dumbass Sayings: “Birds Of A Feather Flock Together” vs. “Opposites Attract”

Birds clearly love hanging out together.

Here’s yet another example of two popular sayings that directly contradict each other. When something like this happens it means that only one saying can be right so let’s examine them closer to find out.

“Birds of a feather flock together” is a silly phrase that was seems like it was written just because it rhymed. All birds have feathers and yes they congregate together. You could say “Racoons of a fur always concur” and it would mean the same thing. It just sounds a lot dumber because it hasn’t been said millions of times. Saying “Birds of a feather flock together” is stating the obvious. Most animals aren’t solitary and birds are just one type who aren’t. Why is this a saying?

Pretty much the only time “opposites attract” makes sense is when it comes to men and women being attracted to each other, but that’s a given. That’s not notable enough to be worthy of its own phrase. Plus you’ve got all the homosexual people out there who prove that rule wrong. Saying “opposites attract” might be true when it comes to magnets, but as a general statement about people it’s false. If opposites really attracted you would constantly be seeing anorexic people married to morbidly obese people, giants married to dwarfs, Amish marrying computer nerds, rich people dating hobos, etc. Those pairings are too rare for “opposites attract” to be a valid statement.

While both of these sayings are dumb, the winner of the two has to be “Birds of a feather flock together” because at least it’s true. It may be as obvious as stating “Legs help you walk”, but you can’t change the fact that “Opposites attract” is mostly false. It’s like saying “Fat people steal”. Yes maybe a fat person has stolen at one time or another, but to make a blanket statement like that is irresponsible and wrong.

Dumbass Sayings: “Early Bird Gets The Worm vs. Good Things Come To Those Who Wait”

As we can see from this photo,
worms do have intercourse
so there are plenty of worms to go around.

Here’s an example of two very popular sayings that directly conflict with one another. One of them has to be wrong. Which one is it? Actually, they’re both flawed sayings. Let’s start with “The early bird gets the worm”.

“The early bird gets the worm” is a highly flawed phrase because it implies that there’s only one worm. THE worm? Come on, we all know there are literally millions and millions of worms out there. Worms are not rare at all. If they were then maybe this saying would make sense, but they’re abundant especially after a rain shower. Secondly, worms can eat seeds and fruits so even if there was just one worm and the early bird got it, it wouldn’t necessarily be bad to be the “late bird”.

Then there’s the saying “Good things come to those who wait.” Patience is a virtue is a nice saying that almost means the same thing, but that saying actually makes sense. Saying “good things come to those who wait” is such a broad, general statement that has been proven wrong numerous times over the course of human history. Just as many bad things come to those who wait, specifically when it comes to going to the doctor to get a strange pain checked out to later find out it was cancer. No one ever benefited from waiting to be diagnosed with cancer. Ultimately, life could be seen as one long wait to be dead. Is death a good thing? I don’t think so.

Now the question is, which of these two famous sayings is MORE wrong? That’s a tough call to make because they’re both equally wrong in any given situation. All things considered I would say “the early bird getting the worm” saying is worse just because it’s looking to birds as an example on how to live your life. You’re a human. Yes, we all wish we were birds. We all wish we could fly and take dumps in the sky without having to wipe, but birds aren’t as smart as people. There’s no reason to be modeling our lives after their behaviors. Maybe one day when humans are extinct, birds will reign supreme over Earth. If you’re a bird reading this, remember that good things come to those who wait.