Dumbass Sayings: “Bust My Ass”

A lot of times you’ll hear someone say something like “I busted my ass to get that report done on time!” Really? You busted your ass? Do people even pay attention to language anymore? “Bust” means “Burst.” Let me get this straight, you worked so hard your rectum burst open?  Look, I understand it’s an exaggeration, but how the hell would that even happen? Hard work doesn’t involve anything with the human ass or butthole. Unless you’re trying to start a fire with your asshair and a wooden dildo I don’t really see how anyone would have to bust their ass to get something done. I just don’t know why people use phrases with this type of disturbing imagery. Everytime someone says “I busted my ass” I picture a hemorrhoid exploding. Some surgeon is going to have to bust their ass to fix that. And sometimes you’ll hear a pornstar say “I busted my ass to get to where I am today!” No, someone busted ON Your ass. There’s a difference. People need to just stop with this nonsense. The only time anyone is busting asses is during anal copulation and while you could consider that hard work, it’s clearly not appropriate discussion in the workplace.

This is what I picture when people say they busted their ass.

Dumbass Sayings: “Playing Doctor”

When you’re a kid and you go off into the woods to show your genitals to another kid that’s called “Playing doctor.” This is a very confusing and disturbing phrase. What kind of doctor is this? Why the hell is showing your genitals and having someone else show you their genitals called “playing doctor”? What kind of doctor are you going to? What doctor gets naked in front of you? Now there might be scenarios where you show your genitals to a doctor, but there should never be a scenario where the doctor shows you their genitals. It’s the reciprocation of the nudity that’s a key part to “playing doctor” so I have no idea why that’s called playing “doctor.” And the more startling thing about this phrase is it’s something young people do, but they’re not the ones who decide to call it this. Adults somewhere are telling kids about this game. Why and how that’s happening is a serious problem. No adults should be telling kids about “playing doctor.” I doubt kids just automatically all call it “playing doctor.” Someone has to teach them that and that’s just wrong.

If your doctor is showing you his nipples then you should start to worry.