Ask McFartnuggets: “Is it Inappropriate to Take a Selfie at a Funeral?”

Ghosts rarely take selfies so
Instagram must not be
a crucial part of the afterlife.

Dear McFartnuggets: 

I took a selfie with my uncle at his funeral last week and everyone got mad at me. I don’t get it. What’s the big deal? I wanted one last memory with him. Plus it got tons of likes on Instagram. It’s not like it’s hurting anyone he’s already dead, right? Why don’t people mind their own business and just let me deal with losing him in my own way? -- Louise from Miami, Florida

Dear Louise:

Taking photographs of corpses is generally frowned upon. There’s a reason why they don’t have big group photos at funerals where everyone gathers around the dead body and smiles. Usually people take photos to remember the good times, not the somber times when they’re dealing with loss. That’s what a funeral is supposed to be. If there’s anything positive about a funeral it’s the celebration of the person’s life. You can’t really celebrate their life by capturing an image of their lifeless meatsack after it’s been drained of all its natural fluids. We should remember them as living people, not immortalizing them as dead bodies.

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Ask McFartnuggets: “Is It Inappropriate To Dress Up Like A Zombie For A Funeral?”

Eating the corpse is
also frowned upon.

Dear McFartnuggets: 

My friend invited me to his uncle’s funeral and since funerals are boring I decided to dress up like a zombie for fun. Well his family is really religious and they got uber offended by my costumery. I don’t get it. Is it inappropriate to dress up like a zombie for a funeral? Why? -- Ursula from Florida

Dear Ursula:

Some cultures may accept this behavior like a Dia de los Muertes type of thing, but generally speaking it’s never acceptable to dress up in costume for a funeral. For instance, you would never go to a funeral dressed as Superman or the Mad Hatter. Creating a spectacle of yourself turns the attention onto you when it should be on the departed. In addition, by dressing as a zombie the family might have thought you were mocking the corpse. I don’t know how decrepit this dead uncle was, but zombies are reanimated corpses so they probably didn’t appreciate that bit of it even though you may have been representing a life after death for their loved one. At least you didn’t get drunk and dance with the corpse. That’s even worse and I wasn’t even dressed like a zombie, though I may have been on bath salts.

Address your questions to PizzaTesticles@yahoo.com and always respect the dead.