Why Doing What Robin Williams Did in "Mrs. Doubtfire" Doesn't Work in Real Life

Awhile back I lost custody of my daughter and since "Mrs. Doubtfire" is one of my favorite movies I thought the obvious move was to become an obese English woman and pose as a nanny. Look, there's a reason this started out as a fiction novel and they turned it into a Hollywood movie. It's all entirely unrealistic, I know that now. Maybe I should have gone to a real makeup artist, even though I couldn't afford that. One problem right off the bat is very few people use nannies anymore so that wasn't a way in. Instead I had to knock on the door asking if they needed a chimney sweeper. That was a mistake considering chimney sweepers are even more dated than nannies and my ex-wife had no chimney.

Now I don't know if my English accent gave it away, or if it was the wig, or fat suit, but she knew right away. My ex-wife punched me in the face which sent me backwards and I tripped down the stairs of the stoop. She locked the door, called the police, and I ran. You can't imagine how uncomfortable it is to run all dressed up like an elderly overweight English lady. The stares I got from people on the street were intense.

The incident was cited in our next court hearing and I was denied full custody and placed on probation. So just a lesson for the kids out there, don't try the stuff you see in Robin Williams movies. Specifically Robin Williams movies. I don't know what it is about those films, but they all have a particularly unrealistic angle to them that usually ends up with you in court, whether it's breaking into a hospital to be a clown doctor or designing a synthetic substance known as "Flubber", it's all bad news.