Dumbass Sayings: “Bat Outta Hell”

When your mother talks about how she gave birth to you sometimes she says “You came screaming out of there like a bat outta hell!” This is supposedly a phrase originated by the singer Meatloaf and that’s fine, but people still continue to use this term like it’s a normal thing to say. Let’s take a moment to dissect this saying. Why is there a bat in hell in the first place? What did a bat do to deserve eternal damnation? Animals aren’t inherently evil like humans. Bats act merely out of instinct and humans are the ones who choose to assign morality to their behaviors. Also, “Bat outta hell” is supposed to indicate a fast speed. Bats aren’t really known for their speed. A “cheetah outta hell” would make more sense. If you want to communicate raw speed then the phrase “a cheetah on fire” would suffice quite well, there’s no need to involve the domain of Satan in this. And lastly, where is a bat that leaves hell going in such a hurry? Is it going to heaven? I’d hope not. Who really thinks there are bats in heaven? That’s absurd. It must be rushing into purgatory and anyone who knows about purgatory knows if that’s your destination then there’s no real point in being in a hurry.

Okay, on second thought maybe they are going to hell...

Dumbass Sayings: “Clap Along If You Feel Like A Room Without A Roof”

Not exactly a time to
be clapping.

In the famous Pharrell Williams song “Happy”, there’s a line that goes “Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof.” Apparently this is another way to describe the emotion of hapiness, but I don’t see how that makes any sense. Having a roof is good. That’s why homeless people aren’t clapping along. Also, how does one feel like a room to begin with? I’m a pretty empathetic person, but I can’t really put myself in the mind of four walls in the shape of a box. And if I was four walls in the shape of a box I wouldn’t be ablet o clap because I would have no hands, also I’d want a roof. If you’re in a place where it rains a lot you’re definitely going to want a covering of some sort. Even if you’re in a place like Iran where it doesn’t rain as much, you still need a roof because the sun can be very overbearing. If you’re a room without a roof in an are of the world that frequently experiences drought you’re basically asking for skin cancer. It’s pretty clear that Pharrell didn’t give much thought to this lyric, he was just looking for something to fit into his song.