What will a beer and wine tax hike solve?

Pretty much nothing! If Senate wants to tax soda pop I'm all in favor because it's evil sugar liquid. Aside from the obesity and Diabetes problems it causes, it rots your teeth; we all know that. But having rotten teeth also affects your heart. That means soda contributes to heart disease, why does no one mention this? Conversely, beer and wine, and other alcoholic beverages are scientifically proven to help the heart and improve blood circulation.

Maybe you want to raise the price on beer and wine so people will consume less and stop driving while intoxicated. If that's the case, you're way off. Someone who wants to drive home drunk is going to drive home drunk no matter how much they paid for their happy depression juice. If anything, the money they wasted on your extra tax could have been used to pay for a cab. So you think about that Senate, you think hard before you do something we are all going to regret!

-Binkie McFartnuggets