Dumbass Sayings: “Numb Nuts”

Sometimes when people want to call you stupid they refer to you as “Numb nuts.” I never understood this. What is the link between intelligence and nerve sensors in the testicles? Is the idea that someone can be so stupid that their nervous system doesn’t function properly? I’m not sure that has any basis in fact. Now I’ve never kicked a mentally handicapped person in the testicles, but I would assume that if I did they would feel it just as much as anyone else. I don’t like this saying because it basically implies that paraplegics and people who are paralyzed from the waist down are idiots. I don’t believe that’s true. Anyone who has tender very delicate nuts would know that there’s no link between paralysis and intelligence. So make sure the next time you call someone “Numb nuts” there’s no one in a wheelchair nearby because that’s incredibly insulting and ignorant.

Inuit people and others who live in cold climates may have numb nuts, it doesn't mean they're morons. Sure maybe their educational system isn't what it is in larger metropolitan areas, but still...

Dumbass Sayings: “Mouthbreather”

Smart people breathe only
through their nostrils.

For whatever reason, “Mouthbreather” has become a synonym for “stupid person”. The thing that doesn’t make sense about this phrase is that everyone breathes through their mouth. If you spend your whole life breathing through your nose then you’re the one with the problem here.

“Mouthbreathing” may have a bad connotation because of bad breath and oral hygiene, but if that’s the case then why is it synonymous with stupidity? Smart people can have halitosis too. Maybe dummies have worse breath than geniuses, maybe not. I doubt there has been much scientific research on this issue.

Bad breath is gross and having someone exhale it into your face is disgusting, but is “nosebreathing” that much better? It might seem like a more dignified way to breathe until you shoot a booger on someone’s cheek or accidentally blow a loose nose hair into their mouth during a conversation. Is that really more sophisticated than blowing your ass breath into someone’s face? I don’t think so.

A “mouthbreeder” might be a better derogatory term to use. A “mouthbreeder” is someone who gives lots of blow jobs. Even that though, not sure that’s a bad thing. I think the lesson to be learned here is that mouths are fundamental parts of everyday life for human beings and so nothing that we do with them should be deemed foolish. They’re intrinsic to our survival. Mouths are good.