Should Young Children Have Cell Phones?

This was the subject of the latest episode of "The Simpsons" and the Associated Press posted a video about it too, so I figure it's a sizzling topic of debate right now. I think most kids should wait to have a cell phone until the age they're allowed to drive, ironically... But really, anything before that is key developmental time and they're already going to deal with arthritis from typing everyday instead of using the archaic art of hand printing. Not to mention their brains aren't fully developed and could be affected by radiation from the phone, but that's another story.

The problem is, kids whine and parents cave in, it only has to happen one time before every kid points to the other and the spread of uniformity begins. It seems that as soon as a child can speak coherently, they've got a phone in their hands. Babies love phones because they see their parents on the phone all the time, back in the day, babies loved cigarettes and "The Price is Right," which is more of a step to the side rather than forward, but what can you do?

The only way to stop kids from having phones is to keep them from speaking coherently. When considering that, maybe the American educational system isn't doing that bad of a job after all. Just think if all American kids were literate at age two and on cell phones, is that the kind of world you really want to live in? Maybe everything happens for a reason.

-Binkie McFartnuggets