Ask McFartnuggets: “Is Sneezing Like Your Brain Having an Orgasm?”

Dear McFartnuggets: 

Let me know what you think about this weird thing that happened to me. I just thought of a really good idea for a new invention that could change the world and while I was thinking it then I sneezed. That made me think maybe sneezing is your brain having an orgasm. That makes sense because it’s not really something you can control completely, you can a little bit, but not really. If you do try to hold it in, it feels weird. It’s embarrassing to do in public, just like having an orgasm. When your nose runs it makes that clear mucus before you sneeze which is like brain pre-cum or like your brain squirting. Pollen makes people sneeze all the time and pollen is the flower version of sperm. That means when people sneeze from allergies it’s just because flower jizz is penetrating their nostril pussies and making their skull orgasm. Also sneezing made me forget my idea that I had just like a reset button. Having an orgasm is sorta like that too because you’ll be with this large woman feeling good then it happens you feel great and then you’re like wait a minute, why am I boning a transvestite in an airport bathroom I totally forgot about my flight! -- Tony from Oceanside, California

Dear Tony:

Yeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh… I don’t know about ALL THAT. So yes, I suppose sneezing and having an orgasm have a few things in common, but that doesn’t mean it’s the brain ejaculating out of your nose and mouth. For one, sneezing doesn’t even feel that good. Also, people who sneeze a bunch of times in rapid succession are annoying and you want them to just shut the hell up. When someone’s having multiple orgasms on the other hand, that’s actually encouraged. And no one ever says “God bless you” after you have an orgasm. They just run away from you at the bus station and try to alert security. Thanks for the question.

Sneezing and orgasms have a lot in common. For example you can't pee while sneezing or while having an orgasm... Unless you're a woman who's "squirting."

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