Showing posts with label Caveman Sayings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Caveman Sayings. Show all posts

6.09.2015

Dumbass Sayings: “Money Talks, Bullshit Walks”

Sometimes when you’re negotiating prices with an actress to get her to be in your “home movie” she says “Money talks, bullshit walks!” Now this saying might make sense if there wasn’t a saying that goes “Talk is cheap.” So if money talks, how can talk be cheap? Now you might say this means talk isn’t cheap, but there’s also another saying that goes “Don’t talk the talk if you can’t walk the walk.” This implies the act of walking is more important and meaningful than talking. You can talk all day long, but if you never actually walk and act on it then your efforts are worthless like bullshit. The proper saying should be “Bullshit talks, money walks.” When someone says “Money talks, bullshit walks” I think what they’re trying to say is “If you want to keep talking it has to be about money, if it’s about bullshit I’ll walk away.” Of course the grammar being used here is completely wrong. Only a mentally handicapped caveman would use the phrase “Money talks, bullshit walks” to communicate that sentiment. If you take the s’s off, it sounds exactly like something a caveman would say. “Money talk! Bullshit walk!”

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2.23.2014

Dumbass Sayings: “Believe You Me”

Believe you me,
this dunce hat is coming dangerously
close to being a KKK hood.
This phrase was said to have originated in Shakespeare but it sounds more like something a caveman would say. “Believe you me” basically means “Believe me” but the word “you” is put in there unnecessarily for emphasis. For some reason this is the only phrase where doing that is acceptable. If you’re in trouble and you say “Help You Me!” instead of “Help me”, that won’t work. People will just look at you all confused and walk away. Saying “Help you me” would make absolutely no sense so why does saying “Believe you me” instead of “Believe me” make sense? And if you really want someone to believe you, talking like a caveman is counterintuitive. No one wants to listen to a neanderthal. There’s rarely a benefit to taking the word of someone who sounds like they have brain damage.