Dumbass Sayings: “Better Late Than Never”

Stylish cloth menstrual pad.

A very popular English language saying is “Better late than never”. This is a dumb one though because most people don’t even believe it. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve come in late to work and told my boss “Hey! Better late than never!” And then they fire me! I was late and then they make it NEVER. Apparently never is better than late in certain circumstances.

Another situation where never is better than late is when you’re dealing with a woman’s period after you’ve had unprotected sex. Better her entire reproductive system fail and she never has another menstruation cycle again than for her period to be late meaning she’s pregnant.

And a lot of the time, after a certain point, late is just as bad as never so it’s not better. If you’re super late to your child’s custody hearing the judge doesn’t consider that better than if you didn’t show up at all. She doesn’t care at all. You blew it. You don’t get credit for being late. So if you are running late to such an event I would suggest you just stay home and get some sleep instead of running out the door and speeding down the freeway drunk thinking “Better late than never!”

Dumbass Sayings: “Two Wrongs Don’t Make A Right”

Let's stop kidding about Hitler, folks.

One of the most famous sayings of all-time, “Two wrongs don’t make a right”. It’s a nice sentiment and true in most cases, but it is ultimately a flawed concept. The most obvious example of this being wrong is World War II. Adolf Hitler committed a serious wrong when he decided to attempt world domination and start the Holocaust. America and its allies chose to fight fire with fire and exterminate the German and Japanese threat. Was it wrong to fight the Nazis? No, but it’s always considered wrong to kill people. In this case, the second wrong actually did make a right. So two wrongs can make a right. The real saying should be “Two wrongs don’t make a right, unless the first wrong is REALLY wrong because then by default, the second wrong is viewed as much less wrong in perspective and thereby allowable and able to create a right.”