Dumbass Sayings: “Be Careful Whose Toes You Step on Today, They May Be Connected To The Ass You Have To Kiss Tomorrow”

There’s a popular saying on social media these days that goes “Be careful whose toes you step on today, they might be connected to the ass you have to kiss tomorrow.” I’m not sure I understand this. So I have to be careful whose toes I step on because some day that person will make me kiss their ass and their toes will be connected to their asscheeks? Who is this supposed to be warning? I feel like this is more of a warning to the people whose toes I’m stepping on. They need to watch out for my foot because if I step on their toes then tomorrow those toes will be surgically connected to their buttocks somehow. That sounds like a very serious and painful predicament to be in for whoever that person is. I think when people say this they’re actually trying to say “Be careful whose toes you step on today, they might be connected to the foot that’s kicking your ass tomorrow.” They’re trying to say that, (which is a much better saying that actually makes sense) but they get it wrong because they’re stupid.

Yeah if you break someone's toes, chances are you'll have to apologize to them the next day. Now whether or not you call that "kissing ass" is up to you.

Dumbass Sayings: "Go With Your Gut"

Maybe if fewer people went with
their gut, obesity wouldn't be such
a huge problem in America.

A lot of people these days like to "Go with their gut" when making decisions. Going with your gut means making a decision based on your instincts usually with disregard to logic and facts. These decisions don't come from your gut, they usually come from your balls or you pull them out of your ass. The only time you're going with your gut is when you're deciding what to have for lunch. Selecting a meal is the only proper use of the term "Going with your gut" yet you never hear someone saying that. When was the last time you heard someone say "I think I'm gonna go with my gut on this one and have the turkey sandwich."? No one says that. Another proper usage would be "I think I'm gonna go with my gut and vomit." No one actually attributes this saying to actual stomach functions. No one uses this saying correctly.

Dumbass Sayings: “The Proof is in The Pudding”

Is the proof semen?

Have you ever heard the saying “The proof is in the pudding” and wondered what the hell that’s supposed to mean? Me too. Unless you find a bloody knife covered in fingerprints in your pudding then that doesn’t make sense. Odds are if you find that, you’re probably too busy vomiting to solve a crime. Maybe this saying does make sense. No one looks in pudding for proof. When a killer shoots someone usually they’ll drop the gun at the scene so they don’t have to be linked to the weapon. Don’t drop it at the scene of the crime! Drop it in a big bowl of pudding! Who the hell would think to check a bowl of pudding unless they’ve heard this saying and believe in it literally.

Actually, this saying was originally “The proof of the pudding is in the eating.” Over time it became shortened and completely misinterpreted as most old writings tend to be.The original saying means you don’t know how good a pudding tastes like til you eat it. Not sure why that needed its own saying. That’s like saying “Don’t judge a book by its cover” except maybe more understandable to fat people who don’t read a lot.