Dumbass Sayings: “Be Careful Whose Toes You Step on Today, They May Be Connected To The Ass You Have To Kiss Tomorrow”

There’s a popular saying on social media these days that goes “Be careful whose toes you step on today, they might be connected to the ass you have to kiss tomorrow.” I’m not sure I understand this. So I have to be careful whose toes I step on because some day that person will make me kiss their ass and their toes will be connected to their asscheeks? Who is this supposed to be warning? I feel like this is more of a warning to the people whose toes I’m stepping on. They need to watch out for my foot because if I step on their toes then tomorrow those toes will be surgically connected to their buttocks somehow. That sounds like a very serious and painful predicament to be in for whoever that person is. I think when people say this they’re actually trying to say “Be careful whose toes you step on today, they might be connected to the foot that’s kicking your ass tomorrow.” They’re trying to say that, (which is a much better saying that actually makes sense) but they get it wrong because they’re stupid.

Yeah if you break someone's toes, chances are you'll have to apologize to them the next day. Now whether or not you call that "kissing ass" is up to you.

Dumbass Sayings: "Go With Your Gut"

Maybe if fewer people went with
their gut, obesity wouldn't be such
a huge problem in America.

A lot of people these days like to "Go with their gut" when making decisions. Going with your gut means making a decision based on your instincts usually with disregard to logic and facts. These decisions don't come from your gut, they usually come from your balls or you pull them out of your ass. The only time you're going with your gut is when you're deciding what to have for lunch. Selecting a meal is the only proper use of the term "Going with your gut" yet you never hear someone saying that. When was the last time you heard someone say "I think I'm gonna go with my gut on this one and have the turkey sandwich."? No one says that. Another proper usage would be "I think I'm gonna go with my gut and vomit." No one actually attributes this saying to actual stomach functions. No one uses this saying correctly.

Dumbass Sayings: “Just Desserts”

Unless you're diabetic,
getting just desserts isn't that bad.

When someone gets their “Just desserts” it means they’re getting what they deserve, usually in a negative way like a punishment. A lot of people use the phrase “Just desserts” without knowing that it’s really spelled “Just deserts.” If someone’s getting their “Just deserts” then that figuratively means they’re going to be put into a desert to die, which makes sense. If someone’s getting their “Just desserts” then that figuratively means they’re going to be eating only pies and cakes, which does NOT make sense. I think most people would love to get their just desserts. Eventually you’d become really obese and that would suck, but at least you’re eating ice cream all the time so that’s not too awful. Things could be worse, you could be in a desert starving to death trying to eat sand. The only way “Just desserts” would be “Just deserts” is if you’re talking about a diabetic person who would suffer a fatal blood sugar spike.