Dumbass Sayings: "Bringing Down The House"

When you perform your jazz tap dancing routine flawlessly at your family reunion people will approach you after the show and say "Damn, homie! You brought the house down, son!" Brought the house down? Why is demolishing a domestic structure with people inside considered a good thing? How did that become a positive? This phrase should have been banned the second 9/11 happened. No one needs to bring the house down. Keep the house up. Build a foundation for the house. That's a more noble cause than an act of demolition and destruction. If you're doing something great then that should be synonymous with positives. If you're ripping a phat rhyme at a freestyle rap battle people should say "Man, you volunteered for Habitat for Humanity up there!" Now that arguably doesn't make sense either, but it's the more appropriate equivalent of "Bringing the house down."

There's nothing like demolishing the ghosts of people's dead dreams.

Dumbass Sayings: “Works Like A Charm”

Sometimes you’ll hear your neighbor talking about their new rectal cream they say “It works like a charm!” Let’s think about that saying for a second. You’re saying this thing “works like a charm” charm meaning a magical charm, I assume. So it works like a magical charm, so not at all? I got a newsflash for you people, magic charms don’t work. Magic isn’t real, that’s why magicians had to call themselves illusionists. Magic charms are complete bullshit and they nearly never work even by coincidence. When you say “works like a charm” you’re literally saying the opposite of what you mean and that’s just damn stupid. Instead you should say “works like an Apple sweatshop employee” or something that actually works, then that might make a little bit of sense.

This charm will work pretty well, if your goal is to get tetanus.