Showing posts with label What To Say When You See Something Awkward. Show all posts
Showing posts with label What To Say When You See Something Awkward. Show all posts

2.28.2014

Dumbass Sayings: “Whatever Floats Your Boat”

Ice isn't one of the things that floats
people's boats.
When you tell someone you like to roll around on a bed of nails while rubbing cottage cheese on your nipples, usually they’ll say “Whatever floats your boat!” This is basically just another way of saying “Okaaaayyy…” A more sensible saying would be “Whatever car you want to drive!” There are millions of cars in the world so that’s a real choice a person can make. There is no choice when it comes to what floats a boat. Water is the only thing that floats a boat. This saying doesn’t make sense.

You can’t float a boat in jello and dead hookers. I mean technically you could, but that would take a lot of dead hookers. I doubt that’s what people think when they use this saying. When you see someone with a dead hooker covered in jello, the last thing you should say is “Whatever floats your boat!” If someone’s showing a sick desire and passion for anything other than water, this saying doesn’t apply.