Dumbass Sayings: “Whatever Floats Your Boat”

Ice isn't one of the things that floats
people's boats.

When you tell someone you like to roll around on a bed of nails while rubbing cottage cheese on your nipples, usually they’ll say “Whatever floats your boat!” This is basically just another way of saying “Okaaaayyy…” A more sensible saying would be “Whatever car you want to drive!” There are millions of cars in the world so that’s a real choice a person can make. There is no choice when it comes to what floats a boat. Water is the only thing that floats a boat. This saying doesn’t make sense.

You can’t float a boat in jello and dead hookers. I mean technically you could, but that would take a lot of dead hookers. I doubt that’s what people think when they use this saying. When you see someone with a dead hooker covered in jello, the last thing you should say is “Whatever floats your boat!” If someone’s showing a sick desire and passion for anything other than water, this saying doesn’t apply.