Dumbass Sayings: “When In Rome, Do As The Romans”

When in Rome... Stab a lion in the chest with a spear.

I’m sure you've heard the saying “When in Rome…” which is an abbreviated way to say “When in Rome, do as the Romans”. This is a very incorrect saying and it can get you in a lot of trouble. The last time I was in Rome I naively took this advice and once I got off the plane I started trapping people in fishing nets and stabbing them with tridents. I tried feeding people to lions and staging elaborate chariot battles, but before I could slaughter any exotic animals, the Rome police apprehended me. 

Apparently “Do as the Romans” is an incomplete statement. It should clearly be “Do as the Romans DO” because if you just say “Do as the Romans...” someone might interpret that as meaning “Do as the Romans DID” and recreating a lot of the horrors documented from the ancient Roman empire.