Dumbass Sayings: “Excuse Me”

Whenever you're farting in someone's face
a "Please excuse me" is appropriate.

“Excuse me” is perhaps one of the most popular and frequently used sayings in the world, but do we really ever think about what it means? People think it’s a polite thing to say, it’s not. Whenever I accidentally bump into someone or clothesline someone riding by on a Razor scooter I never say “Excuse me” I say “PLEASE excuse me!”

If you want to really be polite you say “please”, otherwise you’re giving a command and those are never polite. People think saying “excuse me” excuses them from any impolite behavior whether it’s stomping the back of someone’s shoe or farting at work. If you’re really sorry about the imposition you’re making on others you would supplicate yourself and ask for their forgiveness rather than demand it. If you’re going to push someone’s grandmother into traffic and plan to say “Excuse me” just don’t even bother. Now if you say “Please excuse me” then at least shows some conscientiousness.