The Top 5 Worst Bedroom Role Playing Costumes

Sometimes you have to mix it up in the bedroom to keep yourself from cheating. When you reach that point in a relationship it’s important to know which costumes to avoid. Here are 5 characters you never want to role play as in the bedroom:

5. Astronaut

For whatever reason, astronauts aren’t really seen as sexy. Maybe it was that crazy lady astronaut who wore diapers, or maybe it’s just America’s general apathy towards space exploration. Add that to the cost of a replica astronaut suit and the fact that it’s damn near impossible to have intercourse in one and that makes dressing like an astronaut in bed a bad idea.

Sex in an astronaut suit is basically like wearing a full body condom.

4. Hobo

Speaking of not sexy, that would bring us to hobos. Now maybe you’re someone who finds hobos attractive. If that’s the case I would actually recommend doing the charitable act of having sex with a genuine hobo. Invite them to stay with you and you can both live happily. Let your current spouse or significant other find someone else if it means getting another human being off the streets.

I'm just a hobo looking for a place to put his bindle.

3. Clown

This is a controversial one because some people really do find clowns hot. The problem however lies in the makeup. If you’ve ever banged a clown before you know it’s a bitch to get all the makeup stains out of you pillows and sheets.

Watch out, ladies!

2. Leatherface from “The Texas Chain Saw Massacre”

Most people find this costume pretty exciting, but that mostly has to do with the chainsaw. It’s never a good idea to have a live chainsaw in the bed with you. That’s obviously inviting a horrible medical emergency.

Anything that can cut stone should be kept away from all genitals.

1. Zombie

Technically having sex with a zombie is necrophilia which is illegal. Now if you’ve got some urge to bone a dead person then making love to someone dressed like a zombie is the best route. However, I would recommend therapy of some kind because it’s not what society deems an acceptable problem.

Who wouldn't want to be a part of this orgy?!