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| People who live in glass houses SHOULD grow plants. |
We all know that people who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones, but there are a lot of things they shouldn’t do that are a lot worse than throwing stones. Here are the top 5 things you should never do if you live in a glass house:
5. Throw wild parties
If you’ve ever thrown a crazy party with alcohol involved you know things can break. If you throw a crazy party in a glass house you’ll be lucky to have a house in the morning. The worst case scenario is the entire house shatters from the noise and hundreds of partygoers and their families sue you for their injuries and/or wrongful deaths.
4. Pleasure yourself
Notice how I didn’t say not to have sex. Your neighbors might actually want to see THAT. But as far as pleasuring yourself goes, that’s a private moment that the town should not be aware of. There’s a reason it’s illegal to do in public. No one needs to see that.
3. Kidnap someone
You should never kidnap anyone, but that goes double if you live in a glass house. The police don’t need a search warrant to figure out you’ve got a woman duct taped to a chair in your kitchen.
2. Stay home during a hurricane or tornado warning
If you live in a glass house and there’s a hurricane coming don’t think you can tough it out like people did during Katrina. The winds will most likely shatter the walls of your home and become less of a home and more of a paper shredder for humans. Not only is this going to kill you, but that much extra glass in the swirling dangerous winds could endanger the lives of everyone else in the immediate area.
1. Pretend not to be home when I ring the doorbell
Sometimes when I ring a person’s doorbell they won’t answer and later on I find out they weren’t out, they were hiding behind the couch. Well if you live in a glass house and try that shit I can clearly see you and I will not leave until you acknowledge me and answer the door. I don’t give a damn I’ll wait all night!
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