Ask McFartnuggets: “Is It Okay For A Man To Use Moisturizing Lotion?”

Here's a guy who never used lotion.

Dear McFartnuggets: People at work laugh at me when I moisturize my skin. They tell me I’m a (slang for vagina). It’s been really cold this winter! I’m getting ashier than my grandma after her cremation over here! Is it okay for a man to use moisturizing lotion or am I a (slang for vagina)? -- Sully from Washington D.C.

Dear Sully:

Of course it’s okay! I use lotion every day. If you don’t you can seriously hurt yourself especially during these winter months when EVERYTHING goes ashy. You don’t want to go a day without lotion and then end up having the area around your computer desk look like a winter wonderland from all the skin flakes that flew off you like an ice sculpture being cut up by Edward Scissorhands up on the hill.

Also I would recommend alerting Human Resources to the way your coworkers are treating you. No one should be called a (slang for vagina) at work. On the streets when you’re walking home with your Hello Kitty backpack, fine, but NOT at work!

Send preguntas to PizzaTesticles@yahoo.com, okay holmes?