Dumbass Sayings: “Busier Than a One Legged Man in an Ass Kicking Contest”

Someone's about to
be a busy guy!

When people see you running around your hotel room trying to figure out what to do with a dead hooker they might say something like “Wow you’re busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest!” When they do, it’s really hard not to stop and say “What the hell are you talking about?” An “Ass kicking contest”? Are you referring to combat sports like boxing or mixed martial arts? Or is there an actual contest where people only kick people directly on the asscheeks and they’re scored subjectively by international judges sitting at a table based on style, damage, and swiftness of foot? Regardless of whether you’re talking about that or a UFC fight, a one legged man wouldn’t be any more busy than someone with two legs. If you’re in an ass kicking contest with two legs you’re still pretty damn busy. In fact, you’re probably more busy than someone with one leg because the guy with one leg isn’t doing much aside from trying to gain his balance. This saying makes no sense whatsoever.

Dumbass Sayings: “Busier Than A One Legged Man In An Ass Kicking Contest”

Look at how busy this guy is.

When a person is really busy they might say “I’m busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest.”  The idea here is that a man with only one leg would constantly be falling down when he went to kick another person in the ass. Now while that’s a silly visual, it’s completely flawed and nonsensical. A person missing one of their legs would obviously have either a prosthetic limb, a crutch, or even a cane to lean on as they went around kicking asses. With one of these aids they would be as busy as someone with two legs, no more, no less. Then of course there’s the possibility that a one legged man could have had a special motorized prosthetic leg installed that is designed specially to kick mechanically and then swing back and forth without any exertion on the part of the wearer. If this is the case then the one legged man wouldn’t be very busy at all. He could actually do crossword puzzles or check his emails while the robot leg was kicking away. If someone has lost a leg chances are they’re pretty tough so it would be wise not to underestimate them.