Dumbass Sayings: “Busier Than a One Legged Man in an Ass Kicking Contest”

Someone's about to
be a busy guy!

When people see you running around your hotel room trying to figure out what to do with a dead hooker they might say something like “Wow you’re busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest!” When they do, it’s really hard not to stop and say “What the hell are you talking about?” An “Ass kicking contest”? Are you referring to combat sports like boxing or mixed martial arts? Or is there an actual contest where people only kick people directly on the asscheeks and they’re scored subjectively by international judges sitting at a table based on style, damage, and swiftness of foot? Regardless of whether you’re talking about that or a UFC fight, a one legged man wouldn’t be any more busy than someone with two legs. If you’re in an ass kicking contest with two legs you’re still pretty damn busy. In fact, you’re probably more busy than someone with one leg because the guy with one leg isn’t doing much aside from trying to gain his balance. This saying makes no sense whatsoever.