The Top 5 WORST Places To Get Mosquito Bites

There are just certain parts
of your body you need to
keep covered at night.

Getting mosquito bites is one of the worst things about Summer. If you like to sleep naked like me then you better have a mosquito net around your bed otherwise you’re going to risk getting bit in some very uncomfortable places. Here are the top 5 all-time worst places to get a mosquito bite:

5. Lip

The obvious problem with getting bit by a mosquito on your lips is everyone thinks it’s Herpes. Even when you explain to people at the club that it’s mosquito bites they don’t believe you because that’s a popular Herpes excuse.

There are a lot of ignorant people who will think your lip mosquito bite is oral herpes.

4. Feet

The feet are probably the most inconvenient place to get mosquito bites because they’re so far down. You’ve got your feet in socks and shoes all day so there’s no way to scratch them you just have to stand there dealing with the torturous itchiness.

You never want a mosquito bite in between your toes. Good luck scratching that.

3. Eyelid

It’s rare to get bit on the eyelid by a mosquito because there’s not much blood for the mosquito there, but if it happens it’s insanely annoying. Scratching near your eye can be dangerous too if you’re not very careful.

You don't realize how often you blink until there's a mosquito bite on your eyelid.

2. Buttocks

Talk about a pain in the ass, getting mosquito bites all over your ass is awful. The problem is people see you rubbing your ass all over everything at work and think you’re some kind of weirdo. You definitely want to lock the door before you start dragging your ass on the carpet for relief.

Remember when you got mosquito bites on your butt and your mom had to spank them for relief?

And the number one worst place to get mosquito bites is…

1. Genitalia

Mosquito bites on the genitals is the absolute worst. Walking around scratching your genitals is not a good thing to do anywhere. The key is to not make eye contact with anyone while you’re doing this. I REPEAT, DO NOT MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH ANYONE while you are scratching your genital mosquito bites. If you do that at the train station you might get stabbed, if you do it at work you might get fired. The best thing to do is just covertly rub the bites against things so no one can really tell what you’re doing just be careful you wouldn’t want to get excited because that’s a whole other problem around your coworkers.

Scratching your genital mosquito bites is a great way to ensure you don't get the job.