Dumbass Sayings: “Chicks Dig The Long Ball”

Horse walks into a bar,
the bartender asks
"Why the long balls?"

I’ve heard this saying “Chicks dig the long ball” and I have to say that in my experience this is entirely untrue. I’m going to get a little personal here for a moment. My nutsack hangs pretty low and I have never heard a woman ever say “I dig that.” They usually say something like “Oh my god. What happened? Were you involved in an accident at a taffy factory or something? Did you put your scrotum into a malfunctioning taffy pulling machine?” You’re far more likely to receive that as a response than “I dig that.” What woman in 2014 says “I dig that.” Most women these days don’t talk like 70’s blues musicians fortunately or unfortunately depending on if you’re some sick freak who’s into that. No, having a shockingly low hanging peach basket is not something that anyone should be proud of. If chicks digged the long balls then really old dogs would be surrounded by women all the time, but they’re not. People take pity on the long balls. People are disturbed by the long balls.