The Top 5 Reasons Not To Be Friends With Your Mom On Facebook

Some distance from
mother can be good.

For some reason there are people out there who think it’s a good idea to add their mother on Facebook. Maybe for them it works out fine, but I’ve found it’s not a great idea and I have a few reasons. These are my top 5 reasons you should not be friends with your mom on Facebook:

5. Nude selfies

We’ve all had those nights where we’re at home drinking and end up taking selfies of ourselves naked in the shower. Those aren’t really photos your want your mom seeing. This is also a good reason not to add people from work like your boss. It is your mom though, she’s probably seen you naked before like when you were coming out of her vagina so that’s why this is only number 5 on the list.

4. Inappropriate status updates

If you’re like me then you post a lot of bad tasteless jokes on Facebook that have a lot of swear words that paint vivid pictures of explicit scenes. For example you don’t want your mother to be reading your joke about a clown having sexual intercourse with Yosemite Sam. That’s just not something you want her to know is floating around in your head.

3. Offensive comments

Sometimes when you write posts about clowns banging Yosemite Sam or whatever, you might experience some backlash from others in the form of offensive comments. That’s usually all well and good, you respect people’s right to voice their opinion about what you’ve posted, except if your mother sees the comments they made then she may reply back to defend you and that’s very embarrassing. She’ll go on and on about how you watched too much Yosemite Sam as a kid and start revealing all this personal shit that you yourself may have forgotten and now your boss at work knows why you always dress up like a clown for Halloween.

2. Work

When your mother is running wild all over your Facebook people at your job will take notice and start calling you a “Mama’s boy.” Before you know it that’s your nickname at work and your forced to quit which will cause you to resent your mother and that’s just not a good situation to be in.

And the number one reason you should not add your mother on Facebook is...

1. Dating

Nothing ruins a budding relationship faster than your mother interrogating the new girl you’re sleeping with. Normally she would never even know, but if she’s a Facebook friend then she’s going to see all the postings she’s writing on your wall and writing “Keep your Syphilis infested vagina away from my innocent boy!” At that point you’re really regretting adding your mom as a Facebook friend, but it’s just too damn late.

When your mom posts this on a girl's Facebook page it's difficult to recover from that.