Dumbass Sayings: “I Love Trying New Things”

When you’re on a date 9 times out of 10 the other person will say “I love trying new things.” Then somehow magically when you ask them if they want to have sex with you they’ll say “Eww, no.” Wait so you love trying new things and my genitals are a new thing to you, but you don’t want to try them? Well someone’s a goddamned LIAR! Then even if they do agree to have sex with you they always say “I never do this.” Really? How does that make sense. If you love trying new things then you should be doing this all the time! LIAR! And also who doesn’t like trying new things? Most people do. Saying you love to try new things isn’t a big deal. All you’re saying is that you’re not a boring freak. You can’t just live life doing the same thing over and over again and if you are then there’s a good chance you’re not even on a date in the first place so how are you even here right now? If someone’s on a date with you then they like trying new things, they don’t need to say it. Saying that is like saying “I’m lonely.” Look, we all get it.

Bath salts? Hmm... Sounds interesting. I think I'll try it.