The Top 10 Most Overused First Names

When was the last time you
met someone named Cleopatra
or Sneferu?

It’s amazing that we live in a world where you can literally name your kid anything that isn’t a curse word or numbers and yet people always choose one of the same couple dozen standard names out there. Odds are you know at least one person with each of the names on this list. In all likelihood, your name is on the list. These are the most overused right now because folks with these names are adults right now making important decisions. In another 20 years this list will probably be full of Noahs, Jaydens, and Sophias, but for now these are the top 10 most overused first names:

10. Matt

How many people named Matt do you know? Like fifteen? That’s not right. Stop naming babies after things you put on the bathroom floor next to the shower.

9. Mohamed

You might not know anyone named Mohamed, but it’s statistically been the world’s most common name for awhile so that puts it on this list by default.

8. Dave

George Carlin once noticed that everyone has an Uncle Dave. It’s true. It’s not that people named Dave have really slutty siblings it just means that too many people are named Dave.

7. Amanda

Amanda has to be the most popular weird ass name there is. Do you ever just look at the name Amanda and think, “How is that a name?” It sounds like it’s an African word or something.

6. Steve

The name Steve is famous for having the name Eve in there. It’s like a mini woman lives in every Steve. That’s like naming a boy Stamanda.

5. Jennifer

Everyone knows a Jen. I don’t have any exact numbers on this, but odds are everyone will sleep with a woman named Jennifer at least once in their life.

4. Mike

Everyone wants to be like Mike. I guess that’s why every other person is named Michael. It is a classic name that was clearly made more popular by stars like Michael Jordan and Michael Jackson. Interesting how there aren’t that many other stars named Michael aside from them.

3. James

James is widely regarded as one of the most common male first names in America. You might not know that many people named “James” but how about “Jim”? Yeah that’s what I thought.

2. John

If you want to see something funny, anytime you’re at a club or a concert where there are a lot of people just yell out “John!” and watch one out of every five people in that bitch turn around. Too many goddamn people named John.

And the number one most overused name is…

1. Chris

Chris is the number one most overused name because everyone knows at least ten people named Chris and the key is they can be male or female. Chris would be a common enough name if we were just talking about men, but there are a lot of women who go by Chris too so that’s just too much.