Dumbass Sayings: “No Man Is An Island”

To clarify: this is not a man.

Okay, so no man is an island. So what is a man then? A state? A county? Is a man even his own country as long as it’s landlocked? The point that everyone eventually needs help from others is valid, but the metaphor is very odd. So if you need help from other people you should be pressed up against them 24 hours a day? No, people need some water between them. Just because you’re an island doesn’t mean you’re completely apart from the rest of the world. Hawaii is an island and yet it’s still a state. This saying might have been more applicable and understandable before planes existed, but now we can travel and transport goods and supplies quite easily from island to mainland. Thanks to technology and the internet, a person can subsist almost entirely without any human contact. As time goes on this saying becomes less and less relevant. A man CAN be an island. Fortunately we’re not at a point yet where an island can be a man. That’s going to be pretty weird, but with doctors making advancements in gender alteration surgeries who knows. It is a strange new world.

Dumbass Sayings "If You Can't Stand The Heat Get Out of The Kitchen!"

Welcome to the Thunderdome!

When someone appears to be faltering in a pressure situation where they're under a lot of stress, a common thing to say to them is "If you can't stand the heat get out of the kitchen!" This saying never made much sense to me. Is it really THAT hot in a kitchen? Sure maybe when the oven is on and the windows are open in the middle of Summer, but there are warmer places to be. Why not say "If you can't stand the heat get out of the boiler room!" or "If you can't stand the heat get out of the desert!" or "If you can't stand the heat step away from the volcano!" or "If you can't stand the heat take your dick out of the toaster!" All of those are much warmer situations than a kitchen.

Kitchens are actually supposed to be kept at a relatively average temperature since there are pantries filled with non-perishable goods that should not be subjected to high heat. And why is there such an obsession with heat? Being cold is just as bad as being hot. Why not say "If you can't stand freezing, get out of the meat locker!" or "If you can't stand the chill get the fudgesicle out of your ass?" Why am I the only one who says these things? I think they're pretty COOL sayings.

Also, it's always been sexist to say that "A woman's place is in the kitchen". Well if it's so hot, intense, and difficult in there then they isn't that either a compliment or not a sexist thing to say? We should all want to be in the kitchen because that's where you face the flames of immense challenge and fight them off with your extinguisher of perseverance. Either being in a kitchen demands respect or it doesn't! Which one is it?

Dumbass Sayings: "Pain is Weakness Leaving The Body"

You hear people say "Pain is weakness leaving the body" meaning the more pain you go through the stronger you get. This saying is complete bullshit. Pain is not weakness leaving the body and enduring massive amounts of pain does not strengthen a person. If this saying was true then every time a captured prisoner of war was released after being tortured for months they'd be stronger than ever, but that's never the case. Instead, they're usually broken shells of the person they once were and are usually very depressed and even suicidal. Their minds are virtually destroyed and they're incapable of living normal lives. Being a crippled, mentally destroyed husk of a person is hardly what I would label as strong. If we were to revise this saying it would be "Pain is a test of human strength, but can over time break down a body and mind". Saying "pain is weakness leaving the body" is ridiculous nonsense.

Relax, this is just a new workout!