Dumbass Sayings: “Be the Kind of Woman Who, When Your Feet Hit the Floor in the Morning The Devil Says, Oh No She's Up.”

There’s a saying/quote that’s growing in popularity with women on the internet that goes “Be the kind of woman who, when your feet hit the floor in the morning the Devil says, Oh no she's up.” Okay first off, this is way too long to be a saying. You gotta cap most sayings at like 10 words, 15 words at the most. This is 22 words. That’s damn near a paragraph. This quote really only works in the context of the internet. You can’t cite this quote in real life, you’d sound ridiculous repeating this outloud. You’d be the kind of woman who, when you said this the Devil says, “Jesus Christ, get to the point already, I really don’t have time to listen to this whole fucking quote.” To top it all off, I’m not even 100% sure I know what this quote is supposed to mean. To be honest, it sounds a little like a quote for morbidly obese women. Like if your feet HIT the floor and the tremors are so strong Satan can feel it deep down in the kingdom of Hell. Now Satan is like “Damn, we were doing okay down here until this bitch got up and now she’s gonna be stomping all over town loud as fuck with her fat ass... ” That’s the meaning that makes the most sense to me. Why would the Devil give a damn what you’re doing in your day-to-day life? Unless you’re doing a lot of drastically religious things like spreading the word of God all over the place, I don’t think satan would dread your daily awakening. Believe it or not, I doubt Old Scratch gives a rat’s ass that you took the kids to banjo practice, went for a jog, and got your weekly botox treatment.

Do you really think Satan cares about your sleeping habits?