Dumbass Sayings: “You Need a Hobby”

Sometimes a person sees you masturbating to sunbathers at the park and they say “You need a hobby…” Apparently this is the new way of saying “Get a life” and I have to say it’s very hypocritical. First of all, maybe this is my hobby! Did you ever stop to consider that? Also, what are YOU doing with your life that’s so outstanding? Who are you to judge other people’s lifestyles? The way I see it, as long as you’re not hurting people there’s no wrong way to live your life. Ideally we would all be volunteering at soup kitchens and using our spare time to help others, but that’s not what most people do. Most people just spend their time doing what they want to do, doing what makes them happy. People who say “You need a hobby” are hypocritical because anyone who cares even for a second how other people are living their lives is in no position to be giving life advice. If you’re actually enjoying life, odds are you’re too busy engaging in your own enjoyable activities to be concerned with judging other people. Yeah I’m watching people sunbathing at the park, but you’re watching ME watching other people sunbathe. So if I’m a loser then what does that make you? The lady laying out in the grass getting a tan, she’s a winner. She’s living her life enjoying herself. I’m watching her from afar through binoculars, I’m enjoying that so I win. But who the fuck are you? Watching ME? If you’re deriving enjoyment from that then YOU’RE the one who needs to get a hobby. So the next time you want to stop and take a moment of your day to criticize someone else’s use of their time, take a looking a mirror and realize you’re doing the same goddamn thing. I know you want to make other people feel bad to try and elevate yourself without actually accomplishing anything besides taking someone else down, but that’s a really cheap way to feel good about yourself.

Yeah, I'm sure this will help me get laid...