10.17.2015

Dumbass Sayings: “I’m a Curious Person”

Sometimes you catch a woman going through your personal items when she thinks you’re gone. You yell, “Hey what the hell are you doing?!” And like clockwork she says “Sorry, I’m just a curious person.” What kind of excuse is that for violating someone’s privacy? You’re a curious person? Okay so that’s supposed to give you a key to everyone’s personal things. I got news for you, EVERYONE is curious. When you’re a baby you go around putting things in your mouth sticking your fingers everywhere because you’re curious. Human beings are naturally curious, but as we get older we’re expected to have some control over our curiosities. It’s fine to be curious. Curiosity is what led to our modern civilization, but there’s a line between being curious and being nosey. If you're curious about things like life on Mars then you’re intelligent. If you’re curious about stupid things like what’s in someone’s phone or underwear drawer then you’re less intelligent. You have to learn to temper your curiosities when it comes to other people. If you’re a curious person then read books, explore the jungle, the depths of the oceans, and far off countries. If you just want to know people’s secrets then that’s really not a great use of your time. We only have so much time to live on this planet, why waste it being curious about the inconsequential minutia of everyday life. Instead, look at the broader picture and be curious about the universe as a whole. For one, you would never have to apologize for that curiosity.

Looks like we got a regular Sherlock Holmes going through the baby skeleton collection in my basement over here!

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