Dumbass Sayings: “Half a Dozen”

Sometimes you’re waiting in line at the Dunkin Donuts and you hear a guy at the counter say “Yeah let me get a half a dozen glazed pumpkin spice crumble donuts.” What is this “half a dozen” nonsense? You can just say “six.” You realize six is a number, right? Saying it doesn’t invoke the spirit of a demon or anything, unless you repeat it two more times. Why do people do this? Why use three words to communicate an idea that can be expressed in just one? It’s inefficient communication. God knows how much time along the course of human history that could have been saved if everyone who ever said “half a dozen” just said “six.” With roughly one second wasted per instance, that could accumulate to thousands and thousands of hours of human productivity lost forever into the vast expanse of eternal nothingness. And on a smaller scale it would probably speed up the donut line a little, not by much, but every second really does count. You can’t take life for granted. People talk about living in the moment, well if you want to live in the moment that involves wasting the least amount of time you can. It’s time people start looking at their own lives and trimming the fat. See where you’re wasting valuable seconds and optimize your phrases and actions. By the end of the day you might have collected upwards of several minutes to an hour of extra life you can use for the things you actually enjoy. Calling six “half a dozen” is like saying “a singular amount” instead of one. There’s a reason you never hear people say “Yeah I’ll have a quarter of a dozen” or “Yeah let me get a sixth of a dozen!” There’s no reason to involve math in such basic concepts and numbers.

Yeah let me get a twelfth of a dozen.