Ask McFartnuggets: “How Come I Never See Homeless People with Cancer?”

You don't need a clever
sign when you have a tumor.

Dear McFartnuggets: 

How come I never see homeless people with Cancer? Whenever I see homeless people they’re always up and moving around yelling at the Sun and masturbating on the bus, etc. They’re always up and at em! What is the deal with this? Are the immune to the big C or something? -- Jane from Brooklyn, New York

Dear Jane:

This is totally wrong. Homeless people aren’t impervious to cancer. The reason you don’t see them is because they’re either hiding (meaning they’re not the ones jacking off at the bus stop and making a big scene) or because a lot of homeless people already look skinny and gaunt. They also don’t get chemotherapy so you won’t see them walking around with bald heads or a pink bandana on. Just because you don’t see it doesn’t mean it’s not there. Apparently it’s very easy to ignore homeless people with cancer. No one really talks about this. You never hear about a charity for hobos with cancer and that should change. These people need our help and we should do the best we can to notice these folks and get them the treatments they need.

Submit your questions to PizzaTesticles@yahoo.com