Dumbass Sayings: "See a Penny, Pick it Up!"

Back when your grandmother was sexually active there was a saying that went "See a penny pick it up!" Back then you could yet a loaf of bread for a penny so it really was good fortune to stumble upon a penny. This is a completely outdated saying and people need to stop. There's absolutely no reason to consider pennies lucky anymore. If pennies were lucky then you'd think the homeless people with coffee cups full of them would be doing a little better for themselves. Clearly that superstition is horsecrap. These days pennies are basically discarded as garbage. A single cent is physically not even worth the caloric energy it takes to pick up a penny from the ground. Bending over is worth more like 10 to 25 cents for most average people, up to a dollar or more for the obese. Loose change has always been filthy just like dollar bills, but pennies are by far the dirtiest. If you've ever seen a brand new penny before you know how dirty the average penny is. God knows what's coating that metal. A mishmash of dirt, rust, human and animal bacteria and whatever is on the ground. Just touching that is putting your health at risk. Potential medical bills are worth much more than one cent. So I think we need to update this saying to "See a penny, keep on walking because who gives a shit. Leave it for the homeless people. Even if pennies are somehow lucky, lord knows they need the money and luck more than you do."

See a tiny metal disk covered in Spanish Flu, pick it up!