Ask McFartnuggets: “What is the Worst Pain Known to Man?”

Is childbirth really more
painful than a chainsaw
up the ass?

Dear McFartnuggets: 

It’s been said the worst pain known to man is the sting of a bullet ant, but a lot of women say giving birth is the worst pain possible. What’s the real answer here? What’s the worst pain a human can experience? -- Dash from Monterey, California

Dear Dash:

I would say having a glove of bullet ants poured into your anus while passing a kidney stone, giving birth, having needles injecting into your eyeballs, eating a ghost pepper (World’s hottest chili pepper) and having your fingers cut off is the worst pain a human can experience. I don’t know when or where that would ever happen to someone, but it would be interesting to see how they would react that’s for damn sure. Clearly all that pain would add up. They wouldn’t cancel themselves out. Or would they? No, probably not. Whatever pain you felt the most out of all those would automatically have to be the worst pain known to man. Or you could just avoid this horrifying experiment and assume that all these things together would comprise the worst pain known to man. Who’s going to argue with that? I know I wouldn’t.

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