Mummies get health insurance?!

The news is always hiding stories that might spark outrage against the system, but this one slipped through the cracks. The Lady Hor mummy was discovered to be a man! Does that shock you? Well maybe the fact that this discovery came by way of CT scan should! Yeah, that's right. Mummies get medical testing that is not afforded to some living humans in America, sad isn't it? We need to have our voices heard and let these mummies know that we're more important than them and they have all eternity to have scans and probes done, we only have our lifetimes!

-Binkie McFartnuggets

What's the worst GEICO commercial ever?

There are so many to choose from, but my personal favorite to hate is the one with the old man and the dollar. It's not the most annoying, those would be the money with the googly eyes, but a plot hole ruins it tremendously. What's your pick for worst GEICO commercial? By the way, saving up to 15% isn't that great of a deal, it just means the MOST you can save is 15%! Wake up people!

-Binkie McFartnuggets

Is the world ready for Black Barbies?

I don't think it's a big deal, but a lot of folks are really angry about this. It's funny how people can be outwardly upset about Black Barbies, but when it comes to disliking a Black President, everyone is very quick to say they're not racist.

-Binkie McFartnuggets

Who was the first man to attempt rocket travel?

The year is 1937. The man is unidentified and drunk. The wind is perfect for a groundbreaking, pioneering idea: launching yourself into space with rockets strapped to your back. I suppose the fact that no one knows who this guy is should give you a clue as to the outcome, but had he succeeded, most probably wouldn't know about him anyway because gaining the knowledge would require reading something written in the 1930's and no one has patience for that.

-Binkie McFartnuggets

Folgers coffee degrading women's rights?

When you look back at how opposed Folgers was to women's rights in the 60's it really is astounding that they've made it this far. Of course I'm referring to both Folgers and women. Sure there are still some problems, but what is life without problems? I'll tell you what! No life at all. That's what!

-Binkie McFartnuggets